Yeah, you read that right. I’m going to review a soda on this blog. Why, you may ask?

A. Because I can.

2. Halo 4 fever is slowly dying and being replaced by Call of Duty: Black Ops II fever, so I gotta squeeze this in now while it’s still relevant. No one’s gonna care about this in a month’s time.

I like to exaggerate the name of this stuff. Imagine if it was said by some obnoxious 90s announcer. Now you know how I call this stuff.

So, this is the fourth time that Mountain Dew has done the limited “Game Fuel” thing to advertise whatever hot new video game was on the market. The first time Game Fuel was introduced was in 2007 for Halo 3, then re-released in 2009 for a World of Warcraft expansion — I’m guessing Cataclysm but I don’t play those so I’m not certain — and most recently, last year for Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3. I honestly expected them to skip this year, judging by the “every other year” cycle, but since Halo started the unique limited flavor/marketing tie-in for Mountain Dew, they might as well do it again for the newest installment involving a Master Chief and some Halos.

I’ll bite: I was never a big Halo guy. I played a leaked prototype of Gearbox Software’s PC port back in 2003, and eventually bought the game the following year. I thought it was interesting and kinda fun, but hardly the mind-blowing revelation that gamers were making it out to be. Halo 2 was a dull, monotonous corridor shooter I’d rather forget, and all I remember of Halo 3 was me and my friend Tina co-oping it in two long sessions one time. Still, I can’t say I hate Halo, it just never really grabbed me outside of the soundtrack and occasionally its multiplayer. Maybe it’s because I was anti-Xbox ’til about 2006. Forgive me, I was an oblivious teenager.

But enough about my Halo history, let’s talk the soda itself. I don’t drink Mountain Dew, so in addition to two bottles of “Game Fuel,” I bought a 20 oz of the regular stuff. After buying Game Fuel, the first thing that came to mind was “Man, that flavor is hella red.” One could probably confuse it with Mountain Dew Live Wire if they aren’t paying enough attention. The bottles advertise Halo 4 and the “DEWXP” thing. Like last year with Modern Warfare 3, you can redeem codes of Mountain Dew at dewxp.com to win prizes and shit, like toys, Xbox Live avatar items, even copies of the Halo 4 limited edition. That last one baffles me, why make that a prize? I figured most people jumping in on this promotion would already bought the fancy Limited Edition. I guess it’s more for people like me, who like entering contests and hoping to win things, even if you just win dinky junk. Though I did “win” a Forza 2/Fuzion Frenzy 2 combo pack along with a weird Tropicana Twister 360 faceplate I’ve since lost, so I guess it’s worth it.

Like all drinks, it’s ten times classier when you drink it from a small glass.

I skipped Game Fuel in past years, so this is my virgin experience with it. Well, that and Mountain Dew as well. After having a small sampling of both, I was actually surprised. Whereas Mountain Dew reminded me of typical lemon/lime combination sodas, Game Fuel has a drastically different flavor to it. It has a strong citrus kick, with a tinge of cherry aftertaste. I’m used to citrus sodas — Squirt was my jam for a long time before I converted to Dr Pepper — but Game Fuel had a much stronger citrus than what I was used to, and that’s just from the small amount I had. When they said it had a ‘burst of Citrus Cherry flavor,” they weren’t kidding. I’m kinda scared about people who would regularly drink this stuff, this can’t be good for you in the long run.

My apologies if this review isn’t as funny as other food/soda reviews on the internet. In an ideal world, I’d likely have a Master Chief figurine drown himself in a tall glass of this stuff. I thought about grabbing a Halo figure but I didn’t have much time to do so. So instead, have a game box of Halo: Combat Evolved Anniversary next to the wonderful Game Fuel. Hey, it was either that or Halo 3, and that would’ve been kinda awkward to have that next to the Halo 4 soda.

This is the extent of my Halo collection. Well, that and a Halo Warthog Megabloks I got at PAX 2011…

Well, that’s about it. It’s a citrus soda with a cherry kick, and it’s probably worth a try if you’re into those kind of sodas. It totally doesn’t taste like Mountain Dew, though. Now the next challenge is to see how Game Fuel mixes with certain alcohol. I bet I could make a kickass concoction out of this stuff.

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