Okay, I might be pushing it with the whole “video game blog” angle with this one. Granted, it’s video game-like, and had a video games company sponsor the show, but it’s a bit different than what you think.

Just about anyone who was born in the late ’80s to early ’90s may remember Nick Arcade, that awful Nickelodeon game show with an annoying black host, rejected Double Dare contestants, and having a prototype of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 on an episode. If you’re older, you might remember Video Power, that weird “video game tips” show turned sub-par game show in its second season. At least that one had the guy from Remote Control doing the music. And for all the old farts out there, you probably remember Starcade when was new. Or you’re like me and remember it when G4 reran it constantly, before the network was total garbage. But I bet you don’t remember this weird video game-meets-game show entity: Throut & Neck, a Game Show Network original that briefly ran in 1999.

The late 1990s was a weird time for Game Show Network. Before they had aired bad Candid Camera knockoffs, before they reran The Amazing Race daily, even before that weird “We’re not just game shows” phase where they thought giving Scrabble host Chuck Woolery a reality show was a good idea, they were on this ridiculously weird interactive TV kick. Interactive versions of The Price is Right were broadcast among other call-in and win shows. Throut & Neck is one of the few examples of GSN experimenting with these interactive call-in shows.

The titular characters, Throut (that’s not a typo for “Throat,” that’s his actual name) and Neck are computer-generated characters on a TV monitor that occasionally animated. I’ll summarize them as two bumbling idiots who try to do evil and dastardly things, because, hey, it’s the late 1990s and it’s time to be EDGY!!!!! Also, for some reason they both hate sheep, which is another angle for the show.

Throut is a blue thing with a ponytail beard and weird straps on his mouth and feathers on his head. He seems to be the tough guy in this scenario, judging by his gruff dude-like voice and physique. Neck is a green monster with a weird nose and teeth, an outfit that looks like prison garb, and sounds like a cross between Zorak from Space Ghost Coast to Coast and Beavis from Beavis & Butt-Head. Sadly, neither C. Martin Croker or Mike Judge contributed to the voices of this show. Hell, I don’t even know who voiced these characters, the show credits them as “themselves,” so it’s a mystery that will likely remain unsolved.

Our co-host and eye candy is Rebecca Grant, known for wearing “sexy” outfits and tall stiletto heels every show. Grant’s role is basically to be the “straight woman” to Throut & Neck’s dumb insanity, as well as being the one who introduces the call-in players. To become a contestant, all you had to do was call in one of two phone numbers to play either Throut or Neck, or to go online on the (now defunct) website to register. Once the players were chosen to be Throut or Neck, they would play one of two (later four) mini-games for a prize.

The mini-games were simple in nature. For example, “Sheep Slam” shown above requires the player to attack sheep or their opponent. 1 and 3 on your phone moves your character, 2 attacks. Slamming sheep got you 3 points, attacking your opponent got 1. Whoever had the most points won. Another game, “Sheep Heaven,” required the player to duck and jump over obstacles and take little damage. 2 jumped, 8 ducked, and 4 and 6 could be used to attack or defend, depending on who’s playing.

The winner of the game won a prize, usually stuff like t-shirts, backpacks, and some gimmick prize that ties into some dumb story Throut and Neck came up with during the episode. One episode had them talk about this mysterious “Fat Johnny” character, and the winner of the third game – it was always the third game of the show where the “gimmick prize” showed up – won a tacky jumpsuit worn by Fat Johnny. An episode I have on tape had Throut and Neck wanting to start a “Chain letter” service, with the gimmick prize being a “chain letter starter kit.” I assume the players who got those prizes got $50 or something instead, but it isn’t really funny. It gets even weirder:  Their major sponsor for this show was Nintendo, and Game Boy Colors were given away as prizes.

Wait, what? This crappy interactive show was sponsored by Nintendo? Well, this isn’t too far out of reach, Nintendo was going through a strange identity crisis during the Nintendo 64 era, with that extreme “Get N or Get Out” branding. Not only were they the primary sponsor, they also commercials featuring Super Smash Bros. and other Nintendo products during the show. Honestly, this is the only reason I’m writing about this, because I sit here wondering, “Did Nintendo think they would make decent bank on sponsoring this crummy interactive game show, in which the only appeal was silly phone games and a hot piece of ass?” It’s the most bizarre business decision out there. Did Ken Lobb have anything to do with this? I must know who thought this was gonna be a good idea.

The biggest problem with Throut & Neck was that for most people, GSN was something you got via satellite, which caused a slight delay in input. Not only that, there’s zero interactive value. You’re watching people play dinky Shockwave games – this was made before Flash was a thing – with nothing for the viewer to do except to root for certain players. At least the most basic of game shows like Jeopardy! give you play along factor, this show did not have anything like this. Thankfully, the viewers weren’t too interested in this, and the show was gone after a few months. After its cancellation, you could buy Rebecca Grant’s wardrobe from the show on eBay. Now you can look all goofy just like she did on the show, or just be a weird creepy fan and own a piece of clothing of a host of a half-rate TV game show.

No matter how you slice it, this show wasn’t good. It was boring, it was dumb, it was trying to go to the extreme 90s angle and just looks hilarious in retrospect. Though, when you realize this was on the same network that had wonderful hits like Extreme Gong, All New 3’s a Crowd and Burt Luddin’s Love Buffet, this looked like Emmy material in comparison. I will give the show credit, it’s an interesting idea, surely. It probably would work better in this day and age, just get rid of the goofy “extreme 90s” angle and pump up the prize budget, you could make something out of it. If you want a blast from the internet past, the Wayback Machine has salvaged what was left of the old website. It’s too bad the game no longer works, it was just a Shockwave-powered shooting game that looked sub-par even by Shockwave standards. But if you’re curious to see the show yourself, there are a few clips of it on YouTube. It has to be seen to be believed.

(All screenshots were captured from YouTube videos.)

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