So I’m sitting here, browsing the internet and looking at goofy forum posts, when I get an email from GameStop. Usually they’re for dumb deals where you can save $5 off a copy of some used game from six months ago or something. But this one caught my eye.

I’m like, “FREE GAME?! SIGN ME THE HELL UP!” So I buy a few games at a store just to use up another coupon I had — Batman: Arkham Asylum Game of the Year Edition for PS3 and Die Hard: Vendetta for the Gamecube, since they’re gonna stop selling GC games in a few months — and get home and go through the entertaining sequence of events, including having to register for GameStop’s Impulse service, and then tried this Stoneloops of Jurassica. It wasn’t until I tried the game did I realize something was up.

It’s a bloody clone of Zuma, which in itself is a ripoff of Puzz Loop! (or Magnetica/Ballistic, if you prefer.) Not only that, this game seems to play more like Luxor, which had you shooting balls from below rather than a 360 angle like Zuma and Puzz Loop do, plus it had random powerups. Needless to say I wasn’t surprised I basically got a $10 knockoff game for free, but couldn’t it at least have been a Bejeweled clone instead?

This game was made by a company called Codeminion, based out of Poland. Yeah, this game definitely has a European feel to it, it even comes with a bizarre announcer yelling words like “AVALANCHE!” when you’ve done great combos. Guy could give the Unreal Tournament announcer a run for his money.

…I know way too much about casual games. I’m gonna go play some more Batman so I can feel like a hardcore gamer again.